Difference between looking good and feeling good
We all have very different standards when it comes to our definitions of pretty, and I never knew how to define beauty. Of course, over the past two decades or so of my life, I’ve had plenty of time to form my own opinions about what I think is good-looking and what I think is ugly.
However, as the years passed, my “pretty or not” list shifted a bit as I realized that looks couldn’t be limited to a few pieces of clothing put together in ways that society defines as “fashion.”
When I saw Dove’s Choose Beautiful ad campaign last year, I think it really hit me, and it made me realize that despite our differences, we at least have one thing in common: insecurity.
I know we all experience them in different ways and on different levels, but the world is full of very confident people and also full of not-so-confident people.
So I started wondering where confidence came from, so I started looking for a definition. According to Oxford Dictionaries it is:
“A sense of self-confidence born of an appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.”
So, who taught us to appreciate ourselves and trust the idea that it’s actually okay to step out and be fully yourself without fear of judgment or potential harm?
It’s a joy to look at someone who is well dressed or who perfectly fits all our “beautiful” standards. That’s not to say we’ve all been granted the wardrobe of one of the Kardashians, or the ability to shop for all the right items needed to pull off a stylish look. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t want to be labeled pretty either.
I’m always amazed how confident some people can be. You can easily see how good and comfortable they feel. Maybe it has something to do with the way they walk or the way their bodies move when they talk.
Sometimes I find it so complicated to simply try to connect all the points of my body so that what I feel inside doesn’t interfere too much with how I look on the outside. For those who look confident, however, navigating through the staring crowd seems easy.
Maybe it’s because they take control of their appearance and just let it appear the way they want it to appear. We all have those days when getting out of bed seems like an insurmountable challenge, so we just figure that now that we’re brave enough to throw our blankets down, we should be entitled to put the minimum amount of effort into getting dressed.
The truth is, the idea that “we are what we wear” is often a misconception. I see people looking impeccable from head to toe when I know all too well the pain in their hearts. Because at the end of the day, no matter how confident you are about yourself, it’s always about the outside world.
I know a lot of people happily like to brag about how they don’t care what other people say about them, but I still can’t help but think that it’s always to do with society, social media, and even friends and family on some level.
If you think about it, it took us years to experiment with styles. We go from one to the other, trying to make it best reflect where we are now in life. It is our best protection, like a cotton shield, and at the same time our most vulnerable item. It’s still the first thing we let the world see about us.
So maybe, instead of trying to cover everything up with piles of accessories and makeup, we should try to start on the inside so that there won’t be as many layers to cover up our looks.
Maybe the difference between looking good and actually feeling good is that we decide to pool these tiny ideas and efforts, not to show the world how great we are, but to make ourselves better. It’s about the way we decide to treat ourselves, our bodies, and what they often rightly say, our temples.
As Precious movie star Gabourey Sidibe once said:
“People ask me all the time, ‘You’re so confident. Where did that come from? It came from me. One day I thought I was beautiful, so I lived my life like a beautiful girl.
how does that relate to the world It doesn’t matter how you look. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home and you have to adorn it.
If home is where the heart is, then I think it’s time to love ourselves enough to feel like our hearts are always in the right place.